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Inugami Application
3 August 2015 15:43Player Information
Name/Alias: Letty
Player Journal: N/A
Contact:![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
SilverStilletto, thisdreamishappy (AIM), truthandtimetogether (skype)
Timezone: EST
HMD: Over here!
In-Game/Processing: None
Character Information
Name/Alias: Jun Kurosu/Joker (he is unlikely to use the latter at his canonpoint)
Fandom: Persona 2
Canonpoint: Innocent Sin timeline, just before the world reboot
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Physical Description: The game makes a point of saying he's prettier than most girls.
History: His wiki page. I wrote up a more detailed history, as well:
Jun's childhood was sad and lonely. His mother Junko was a famous actress who largely ignored him, and when she wasn't erasing him from her life she made it clear she hated him. She blamed both Jun and his father for ruining her career. His father was a deadbeat conspiracy theorist who, together with his coworker and a student at the school where they taught, created a book with their master theory and a prophecy for the end of the world (the In'Lakech). He and Junko fought constantly, and Jun was left to take care of himself.
He spent most of his time at the Alaya Shrine, playing alone. He was often bullied for his deadbeat father and effeminate looks and hobbies, but the shrine was safe for him. It was there that he met Tatsuya, Eikichi, Lisa, and later Maya. They all wore masks of their favorite Featherman heroes (Jun's being Black Falcon), and called themselves the Masked Circle - a group of friends who only met wearing masks and using code names, because no one could bully them if they didn't know who they were. Jun grew especially close to Tatsuya, exchanging treasures (a watch and a lighter). He came to view Maya as a surrogate mother and together with Tatsuya promised to always protect her. Together, the five of them played the Persona Game, which gave them their Personas and involvement.
During this time, Jun was ashamed of his father, and didn't want to admit he was as much of a deadbeat as the rumors said - rumors were already becoming reality back then. He invented an ideal father and told stories about him to his friends. Between his stories and desperate craving for this father and the others' wild theorizing about him, Nyarlathotep was given an opening to get to Jun. After his real father committed suicide (probably, though he may also have been murdered), Nyarlathotep impersonated him, becoming the incredible father Jun wanted and starting the process of turning him into a puppet.
Jun was happy with his friends at the Alaya Shrine, so of course it couldn't last. There was an incident at the shrine. Maya revealed she was going to move away, and the kids (understandably upset) insisted she couldn't. Jun, Lisa, and Eikichi decided that if they locked her in the shrine overnight, she couldn't move away, so they pushed her inside and locked the door. Tatsuya protested, so they locked him in, too. That night an arsonist came and burned down the shrine with Maya and Tatsuya still trapped inside. Maya supposedly died. Nyarlathotep altered Jun's memories of this incident, so he believed that it was he who protested but couldn't do anything, and that Lisa, Eikichi, and Tatsuya wanted to kill Maya so she wouldn't leave. Lisa and Eikichi forced Maya into the shrine, and Tatsuya used his Persona to burn it down. In both the false memories and the reality, they went to the cave inside Mt. Iwato to hide their masks, swearing to forget their sin and never meet again.
Over the next ten years, Nyarlathotep's hold on Jun became stronger, and he slowly fell into darkness. He became a latchkey kid and had no friends. Originally, he attended Seven Sisters High School, but was transferred to Kasugayama High after repeatedly causing serious injuries to people who bullied him because he used his Persona to defend himself. He rarely attended school anyway, retreating for the most part because he never forgot what happened to Maya. At some point he retrieved his mask from Mt. Iwato and swore revenge on his former friends. To that end, as well as to fulfill his dream of helping others achieve their dreams, Jun began spreading rumors of the Joker Game. The Joker Game was simple: If you called your own cell phone, a mysterious person named Joker would appear to grant your dream. However, if you couldn't make up your mind or he couldn't grant it, Joker would instead 'relieve your pain' by taking away your ability to dream, turning you into a Shadowman.
With the rumors of Joker spreading, Jun ran away from home to become Joker. Soon people were testing the rumor, and because it was a rumor, it was true. Jun was able to grant many dreams of many kinds - removing freckles, increasing intelligence, so on and so forth. Eventually, Lisa, Eikichi, and Tatsuya tested the rumor to see if rumors really were becoming reality. Joker had been waiting for this. He turned three of Eikichi's friends into Shadowmen and made his intent to have revenge known, but, much to his surprise, the three teens didn't remember the incident at the shrine or even knowing one another as children. He decided that killing them when they didn't remember was pointless. He sent demons after them, swearing he'd kill them himself once they remembered their sins.
After that, the party's efforts to find out why Joker wanted to kill them and get more information ended up spreading more rumors about Joker that changed who and what Jun was. By becoming Joker, he'd relinquished all control over himself to the city full of unwitting reality-warpers. Joker had to fit the rumors, so when they said he had a huge organization following him and an ulterior motive, he appropriated the name Masked Circle for his followers, recruited his generals (the Masked Four: Junko, Tatsuya Sudou, Ginji, and Anna), and planned to collect 'ideal energy' from those he turned into Shadowmen in four crystal skulls. He became more terroristic and power-hungry. The members of the Masked circle (those whose dreams he'd granted) had to follow his orders, no matter what they were. Because Tatsuya Sudou was the student who helped create the prophecy in the In'Lakech, Joker's goal and means included attempting to fulfill the prophecy. Shadow versions of Tatsuya, Lisa, and Eikichi were created from conflicting rumors, and Joker made use of their astrological affinities to wield the skulls, as the party took down his Masked Four.
Tatsuya, Lisa, and Eikichi remembered their shared childhood and discovered Maya was alive and had been with them all along. Joker appeared to them, and Maya revealed he was Jun. Philemon revealed that Jun was slowly 'becoming something inhuman', trapped by rumors as he was. The In'Lakech had been published by then, and rumors were turning it into reality, causing the Last Batallion (a secret Nazi force hidden in Antarctica with a secretly-still-alive Hitler, with highly advanced technology and mythical weaponry) to invade the city in search of Xibalba. Xibalba was, according to the conspiracy theory, a space ship left by the Maian aliens who helped humanity develop civilization, but overtaken by the Bolontiku (another tribe of aliens) in an interstellar war, as remembered in Mayan legend. There was a Mayan Ruin called Caracol where the crystal skulls had to be taken to make Xibalba rise, a catalyst for the destruction of the world while those aboard would evolve into 'Idealians', free from worrying about their purpose in life. Realizing that Caracol is where Joker would be, since he was also trying to raise Xibalba, they went to confront him there. On the way, they discovered the Masked circle had been ordered to fight the Last Batallion and defend the city.
It was within Caracol that Jun's false memories were revealed. It also became clear that Jun was starting to remember the truth, and that what he was doing wasn't what he wanted, but Nyarlathotep's brainwashing was interfering with his ability to break himself free and remember clearly. Time to save him was running out. In the depths of Caracol, Joker was waiting with Queen Aquarius (Junko), the crystal skulls, Shadow versions of Eikichi, Lisa, and Tatsuya, and Hitler. Joker raised Xibalba, taking all of Sumaru City (but not Caracol) with it. Jun began to break free of Joker's mindset a bit, which gave Hitler's Knights of the Holy Lance an opening to attack. Queen Aquarius threw herself in the way to protect him. Joker regained control, but failed to prevent Hitler from stealing one of the skulls and flying away with a jetpack. The three shadows scattered with the remaining skulls.
At that point, Jun and Joker started struggling within his own mind again. Joker blamed Tatsuya for killing his mother and Maya, and Jun was horrified at what he'd done, but couldn't stop himself anymore. Nyarlathotep's influence gave Joker an edge, encouraging him to kill. He fought Tatsuya and company, and when he lost, Joker gave himself over to his lust for power (though Jun no longer wanted to fight) and Nyarlathotep turned him into Angel Joker. They fought again. Afterward, Jun finally woke up as himself, feeling like he'd woken from a long and terrible nightmare. The reunion was interrupted when Nyarlathotep, in the form of Jun's father, tried to force Jun back to his side. When Jun refused, he stripped him of his Persona power and left him to die.
The entire group was transported to Philemon's dimension. Yukino, a Persona-user who'd been adventuring with Tatsuya and friends thus far, asked Philemon to give her Persona power to Jun, since she no longer needed it. He did this, upgraded everyone else's Personas to their ultimates, then transported the group up to the Alaya Shrine so they'd be able to stop Nyarlathotep. Jun revealed that if they collected the five crystal skulls and released the collected ideal energy, they'd be able to turn all the Shadowmen back to normal. The skulls were housed in four astrological shrines that had risen on Xibalba, with the fifth held by Hitler inside Xibalba's depths.
Next, they traveled through the four shrines (Aquarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Leo). For Jun, the most important one was Aquarius. Within the depths of the Aquarius Shrine, some of the Longinus Knights (same as the Knights of the Holy Lance) were waiting. They mocked Jun for being his father's puppet, and reminded him of his mother's role in the Masked Circle. After the fight, Jun's Persona (Hermes) mutated into its ultimate form, Chronos. In the Scorpio Shrine, they fought Shadow Eikichi. In the Taurus Shrine it was Shadow Lisa. In the Leo Shrine, they fought Shadow Tatsuya. Shadow Tatsuya struck Jun hard, as he suggested Tatsuya might hate Jun for his actions. Although Tatsuya said otherwise, Jun still feared it might be true.
Once they'd collected all four skulls, Maya received a call telling her Ms. Ideal (the teacher who'd worked on the In'Lakech with Jun's father) had been kidnapped by Prince Taurus (Ginji) to be used as a human sacrifice to complete the prophecy. The gateway to Xibalba was at Seven Sisters High School, so they went there to try and stop things before it was too late.
They used the Narurato stone in the school's courtyard to travel down to an underground river that took them to the gates of Xibalba. Inside, they fought their way through traps, and Jun struggled with conflicting memories of his fathers - both his real father, and Nyarlathotep's imitation. The last of the Longinus Knights reminded Jun of his mother, who he hadn't realized was dead. Maya realized that both the river leading to it and Xibalba changed to match what they expected from it. Eikichi's fears of his dad promptly manifested as a metal statue of him, which they fought, followed by the same happening with Jun's mother. Metal Mama's harsh words - telling him to disappear - caused Jun to briefly fade from reality. The others saved him, and the experience finally sorted out Jun's memories of which father was which. They found Ms. Ideal in a high-tech room, her kidnapper having been carbonized in a room several floors back. And then they fought a bunch of aliens. After the fight, Jun finally explained how his fathers were tangled up in his memories.
Finally, they reached the core of Xibalba. Hitler was waiting there, with the last of the skulls, which he claimed no longer meant anything - their cue to beat the crap out of him. After the fight, Hitler turned into Jun's 'father'. Nyarlathotep explained that they had reached the Collective Unconscious, where he was the Great Father of all humanity's wishes. He taunted Jun with the fact he had allowed Nyarlathotep to come into his life, as well as with his mother's death, crucifying and immolating both of his parents in front of Jun while laughing about how he'd destroyed his own family.
In response, the five kids fought Nyarlathotep. It was a long, difficult battle, but in the end they won. Philemon appeared, and together he and Nyarlathotep explained that all of this was a game they'd been playing with humanity on the line. This was going to be a happy ending to a very sad story, but Nyarlathotep had one final gambit: he summoned Ms. Ideal to run Maya through with the spear of Longinus. Magic couldn't be used to heal her and her death became the human sacrifice needed to complete the prophecy. The planets aligned into the Grand Cross, destroying the entire world save for Sumaru City, safe aboard Xibalba. Having won, Nyarlathotep vanished. Philemon offered the surviving kids an alternative: they could create a new world in which this tragedy would be averted by erasing the day on which they'd first met. They would sacrifice their memories of one another and their bonds, as well as their Personas, but Maya would live and so would the world. They accepted this deal and one by one traveled to the new world. Jun is taken from as he's fading out of the original reality.
Personality: On the surface, Jun is cold, kind, and polite. He doesn't allow himself to get close to other people, although he will go out of his way to help them, and he is never anything but controlled and absolutely inoffensive (unless given reason to be). He is good-hearted, but his false memories of the incident at the shrine, his mother's poor treatment of him, and ultimately Nyarlathotep's revealed brainwashing and using him as a puppet have left him with undeniable trust issues. He's scared of being hurt again, so it's easier to just push people away.
Some will note his high intelligence, as an excellent student and inventor. Others will notice he has a marked interest in flowers and astrology, which combined with his good looks (canonly described as 'more beautiful than most women' and 'as beautiful as a goddess') make him extremely effeminate by the standards of Japanese culture. He's accepted this and taken it in stride, though. He enjoys crossdressing, and will even use his beauty to manipulate others. He takes care of himself and can sometimes be a little bit vain. None of this will stop him from being vicious when the need arises - namely, if his friends (especially Tatsuya) are threatened.
Jun's trust issues are a big part of his character. Between his mother's neglect, his long history of being bullied, and the real and perceived betrayals of Nyarlathotep and Jun's friends, he rarely opens his heart to anyone. He's predisposed to assume people won't want him around or like him. This means Jun is intensely lonely most of the time - he acts normal, but he's almost always holding back tears. He's desperate to be loved, not just not hated, and always has been. That's why Nyarlathotep was able to use him so effectively, because he played the part of the loving parent Jun always wanted.
Even as Joker, Jun wanted to fulfill his dream and be loved. Of course he got more and more twisted and power-hungry as the stories about him changed, but his intentions were always good. He wanted to help others achieve their dreams ever since he was a child. As Joker, that meant instantly granting them, or, if that was impossible, removing the pain of an unattainable dream. Part of his motivation was his kindness, but it was also in part because as Joker, as 'an angel' who grants people's dreams, everyone would love him. They'd follow him and praise him and never speak ill of him. even his mother, who'd never shown him anything but hatred, cared for him after he granted her dream of eternal youth.
However, he also knows that just getting what he wants won't make him happy, a key difference between Jun and Joker. What Joker wanted was the love of everyone and revenge. Jun now knows that his childhood friends never betrayed him and in fact, once they remembered, fought desperately to save him from losing his humanity completely. What he craves now is the love of those important to him. In particular, he dreams of Tatsuya loving him, though he doesn't think himself worthy. He has a long-standing fixation on and love for Tatsuya that anchors him. It's one of the few good things in his life, so it keeps him strong. This bond is represented physically in his watch, which he treasures above all else.
Speaking of his friends, those who manage to get close to Jun will see a markedly different side of him. He's a lot more cheerful and open to his friends, more likely to smile. He can even be a bit playful, teasing them and having fun. He forms few ties, but they're strong ones. Jun is utterly loyal to his friends and will sing their praises - to the point of analyzing Tatsuya's astrological traits and only discussing the good ones. He's also viciously protective of them. The fastest and surest way to anger Jun is to insult or injure the people he cares about. He doesn't like fighting, but he can and will if he must. Not having them will be a great strain on him, since he's already been heartsick over Tatsuya and heartbroken for so long.
Jun is an interesting case in that he has high confidence but low self-worth. He knows what he's capable of, trusts in his ability to handle himself, and thinks well enough of himself that he can deviate from societal norms easily. At the same time, though, he condemns himself. He has deep guilt stemming from his actions as Joker. He blames himself for the destruction of his family, the hundreds of people Joker erased from reality, causing his friends such terrible pain in his misguided quest for revenge, the followers of Joker who died fighting the Last Batallion, his inability to protect Maya, and, ultimately, the destruction of his world. He knows he could never atone for all he's done, and apologies would only be flimsy at this point. He understands if people hate him. The punishment for his sins is his self-torment and guilt, which he will bear without complaint. This also makes him downplay his own troubles. It's partly his distrust for others, assuming no one will care about him, but also largely because he feels he should suffer for what he's done.
Jun obviously has issues with his parents. His mother was neglectful and only ever showed him hatred, his birth father was a deadbeat conspiracy theorist, and his other 'father' was an eldritch abomination that brainwashed and manipulated him for ten years. Anyone would have issues. It's clear that Jun's mother in particular had a profound effect on him. They're very similar in name, face, even astrological sign. In Xibalba, when the party's thoughts (in this case, Jun's fears) are becoming reality, one of the bossfights summoned by their thoughts is a metal statue of Jun's mother, whose harsh words cause him to briefly fade from reality. He wants her to care for him, despite knowing she never will, and if she says he should disappear, he's liable to agree. Considering his sexuality, it wouldn't be wildly inaccurate to say he has a bit of an Electra complex. His desire for her to love him, or even show him some positive attention, is most likely what led to him being constantly polite, controlled, and inoffensive. His birth father, on the other hand, has mostly only ever brought Jun shame. As a child he didn't want to admit the man was his father, and invented stories of a cooler man to tell his friends. Finally, Nyarlathotep's parentage of him left him horrified and sickened with himself, destroying any notion he had of being a good person. He hates the thought of being used as a puppet again - or worse, anyone else going through something similar. Of course he hates Nyarlathotep, but he can't fully separate the blame, so he, on some level, hates himself as well.
It should be noted that Jun has a habit of finding 'replacement goldfish' for important people in his life. the earliest case is as a child, when Maya became his surrogate mother. She cared for him in ways Junko should have, but didn't. The most glaringly obvious case is Nyarlathotep, as a replacement for his birth father, though this wasn't fully of Jun's own accord. However, he also had a replacement for each of his friends while he was Joker serving as his four generals. Junko succeeded her own replacement, Anna and Ginji replaced Lisa and Eikichi, and he even replaced Tatsuya Suou with Tatsuya Sudou. This ties in with another habit of his: he doesn't let go of things easily. The incident at Alaya Shrine tormented him for years, and not only because of Nyarlathotep's brainwashing. Because he has difficulty relying on anyone else, Jun bottles up everything and never lets it out or fully gets over it. It's part of why he's always holding back tears.
On a philosophical level, Jun has no idea who he is. It's a result of the confusion and chaos he's lived through since a young age: part of him never fully grew up after the fire. He never developed a dream for himself beyond helping others achieve their dreams, and a significant chunk of the identity he'd built for himself disappeared when his friends rescued him from himself. If he's left on his own, he becomes lost very quickly - it's part of why he clings to people so strongly. By chasing the dreams of everyone around him, he is effectively searching for his own. It's not something he does consciously, much like he doesn't fully realize he wants to be loved above all else. This is also one of his biggest weaknesses: if he loses the people he uses to anchor himself, and under extreme stress, he is very likely to slip into Joker's mindset again. That mindset, comprised of despair, chaos, anger, hatred, and willful ignorance, can be extremely destructive, as he will no longer care what becomes of anyone or anything apart from those closest to him. He will hate everything else. This is a remnant of Joker, however, and he's likely to be aware of it and trying to subdue it.
In summary, Jun is a deeply traumatized young man whose entire life has been made of abuse, torment, and a bit of brainwashing. He knows happiness and deeply feels his regret. He's heartbroken, knowing he'll likely never see Tatsuya again, has no home to go back to, shouldn't remember his friends, and that everything is his fault. He doesn't trust others, despite desperately hoping someone will care for him. Jun's issues run deep and he will likely never function completely as a normal person. He respects those who chase their own dreams and don't seek help or shortcuts, as that's the strength of humanity he's come to see after his experience as Joker. Helplessness isn't alien to him, but he helps others where he can. He'll endure his pain quietly and lead the rest of his existence trying to atone for his innocent sins.
Abilities: The links in this section are here to provide a list of what specific skills and weaknesses go with each Persona, for the sake of brevity and reference.
Jun is a Persona-user, which means he is capable of summoning a physical representation of his personality to fight for him. Because he's from Persona 2, this comes with a variety of side bonuses. First, the actual ability to summon his Persona - he can summon multiple Personas (though only one at a time), which each have their own magic and physical attacks and elemental strengths and weaknesses. His main Persona is Chronos, and the others he is likely to use are Fenrir, Ouroboros, Pallas Athena, Nanna, and Satan. He will have Chronos active most of the time. He has others available to him, but cannot use them as well as these. The entire party shares a stock of Personas, so other characters from Persona 1 or 2 can probably share theirs with him. It's unclear if he would be capable of sharing his Personas with characters from Persona 3 and 4, but it seems unlikely.
Jun's battle style tends to focus on range, as he is not very powerful physically. He has powerful magic and many of his spells affect entire groups of enemies. His strong affinity with the wind means a significant amount of his magic is wind-based. However, he can also summon fire, water, lightning, rock, ice, or nuclear energy to attack his enemies, depending on which skills he's using. His light and dark spells are attempts to one-hit kill his enemies. Some skills directly attack the opponent's mind or nerves, rather than the physical body - these act as status ailment attacks. He can also use a type of magic called 'almighty', which is powerful nonelemental magic, as opposed to the various nonelemental physical skills - which will be one of the following: blade-style slashes, ranged punctures like bullets or arrows, blunt strikes, flung objects (razors, flowers, coins, anything thrown), or 'havoc', which is a chaotic blend of physical attacks. Some attacks combine elements, such as his signature move Cross Fortune, which strikes all enemies once with wind magic before striking with light. Cross Fortune can also dole out status effects such as poison and charm.
Jun is also capable of using healing magic to revive and restore his allies.
His Personas also afford him, in a more general sense, several enhanced abilities. He's significantly stronger and faster than a boy of his size should be, and his defenses are better as well. More importantly, he has a kind of sixth sense - his Personas are capable of warning him when he's in danger, giving him a general sense of the area around him, and telling him a general list of supernatural powers of those he meets in person. His range for this is not large. Jun is also capable of using his Personas in conjunction with other Personas for more powerful group attacks called Fusion Spells.
As Joker, he has an entirely different set of abilities, which will most likely remain unavailable to him without good OOC cause, as Joker can be more than a little bit game-breaking.
Joker has an unnamed Persona of his own, with a range of powerful skills, primarily wind and almighty based, though some will be direct attacks to the enemy's mind or physical attacks. He also has a second form, known as Angel Joker, which mostly has light-based skills. Joker is also capable of teleporting anywhere he pleases (most often to where someone has summoned him by calling their own cellphone) and altering reality, such as to instantly grant someone's dream or erase them from reality altogether, including memory of their existence. Those whose dreams have been granted must follow his orders on pain of being erased as well, and will eventually be erased anyway. He has command over legions of demons and is capable of summoning and controlling them. Joker's costume is also wielded like a Persona, summoned and released at will rather than being put on like normal clothes.
As for things that are not specifically related to his powers, Jun is able to use simple flowers as a primary weapon - he throws them like darts. Kind of like Tuxedo Mask, except more effective. It's entirely unexplained how he does this. He is also extremely intelligent (especially in the realms of math and physics), and adept at astronomy and astrology. He is also a skilled liar, very capable of manipulating someone if he needs to.
Samples
Dialogue: [There's a notice tacked to the bulletin board. The handwriting is elegant, meticulously neat, and spaced nicely on the page. Neither overly fancy nor too bland to notice.]
I don't know how many of you believe in things like fortune-telling, but if anyone is curious (or, perhaps, in need of entertainment) I can offer astrological readings. I can try to work with tarot cards as well, if I find or make a deck, and offer some basic lessons.
This may be silly and out of place, under the circumstances, but if nothing else a little distraction might be nice. After all, I've never heard of a series of events that left no time for comedy - I don't mind making a fool of myself for a little bit of fun.
My name is Jun. I can be found in the courtyard, if you're interested.
Exposition/Introspection: It's late. Jun can't sleep. He'd gotten three, maybe four hours of sleep in earlier, before waking from his usual nightmares and utterly failing to coax himself back into slumber. He's been lying here for another half hour by now, and there's little point in pushing it further. Besides, he already knows: it will be nightmares again. It always is.
He pushes himself up, slipping out from the desks he'd used as a makeshift wall and stepping around other sleeping outsiders to the door. It's unlikely anyone will notice or care if he isn't here when morning comes and the room feels stifling right now. Too cold. Too closed in. The courtyard is little better, really, but at least there are flowers. Jun kneels close, peering through the darkness to try and identify them.
"Marigolds... I suppose red spider lilies would be too cliche." They're fitting enough, however. He's always found it a bit strange that so many bright yellow flowers have such negative meanings. Grief for a marigold, dying love and betrayal for yellow roses, revenge for a yellow iris. But then, all the meanings are arbitrary to begin with. There are quite a lot of silly, pointless things in Jun's life...
That's not a thought he wants to dwell on, however, so he searches for weeds among the flowers. The gardener is dedicated, so there probably are none, but he needs something to do or he'll dwell on his darker, more dangerous thoughts. He's not going to go back to what he once was. That would be like betraying Tatsuya and Maya and the others again, after all they did for him. After everything he put them through they still came to his rescue.
He'll never see them again.
He knows it. The thought sits like an ice-cold stone in his heart, it weighs on everything he does. It's nothing new - but sometimes he's distracted from it. This...isn't what they chose. He was supposed to disappear from memory and time, be replaced by another him who wouldn't really be him at all, himself as he should have been. And yet he's still here. He...has to at least try to live like those people so important to him would want him to, in their memory.
Jun sighs. The garden really is impeccably tended, there's nothing to do to keep the nightmares at bay. Maybe he should go to the cafeteria and try to scrub up the blood. He knows it'll be pointless, but at least it will be more restful than trying to sleep.
Name/Alias: Letty
Player Journal: N/A
Contact:
Timezone: EST
HMD: Over here!
In-Game/Processing: None
Character Information
Name/Alias: Jun Kurosu/Joker (he is unlikely to use the latter at his canonpoint)
Fandom: Persona 2
Canonpoint: Innocent Sin timeline, just before the world reboot
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Physical Description: The game makes a point of saying he's prettier than most girls.
History: His wiki page. I wrote up a more detailed history, as well:
Jun's childhood was sad and lonely. His mother Junko was a famous actress who largely ignored him, and when she wasn't erasing him from her life she made it clear she hated him. She blamed both Jun and his father for ruining her career. His father was a deadbeat conspiracy theorist who, together with his coworker and a student at the school where they taught, created a book with their master theory and a prophecy for the end of the world (the In'Lakech). He and Junko fought constantly, and Jun was left to take care of himself.
He spent most of his time at the Alaya Shrine, playing alone. He was often bullied for his deadbeat father and effeminate looks and hobbies, but the shrine was safe for him. It was there that he met Tatsuya, Eikichi, Lisa, and later Maya. They all wore masks of their favorite Featherman heroes (Jun's being Black Falcon), and called themselves the Masked Circle - a group of friends who only met wearing masks and using code names, because no one could bully them if they didn't know who they were. Jun grew especially close to Tatsuya, exchanging treasures (a watch and a lighter). He came to view Maya as a surrogate mother and together with Tatsuya promised to always protect her. Together, the five of them played the Persona Game, which gave them their Personas and involvement.
During this time, Jun was ashamed of his father, and didn't want to admit he was as much of a deadbeat as the rumors said - rumors were already becoming reality back then. He invented an ideal father and told stories about him to his friends. Between his stories and desperate craving for this father and the others' wild theorizing about him, Nyarlathotep was given an opening to get to Jun. After his real father committed suicide (probably, though he may also have been murdered), Nyarlathotep impersonated him, becoming the incredible father Jun wanted and starting the process of turning him into a puppet.
Jun was happy with his friends at the Alaya Shrine, so of course it couldn't last. There was an incident at the shrine. Maya revealed she was going to move away, and the kids (understandably upset) insisted she couldn't. Jun, Lisa, and Eikichi decided that if they locked her in the shrine overnight, she couldn't move away, so they pushed her inside and locked the door. Tatsuya protested, so they locked him in, too. That night an arsonist came and burned down the shrine with Maya and Tatsuya still trapped inside. Maya supposedly died. Nyarlathotep altered Jun's memories of this incident, so he believed that it was he who protested but couldn't do anything, and that Lisa, Eikichi, and Tatsuya wanted to kill Maya so she wouldn't leave. Lisa and Eikichi forced Maya into the shrine, and Tatsuya used his Persona to burn it down. In both the false memories and the reality, they went to the cave inside Mt. Iwato to hide their masks, swearing to forget their sin and never meet again.
Over the next ten years, Nyarlathotep's hold on Jun became stronger, and he slowly fell into darkness. He became a latchkey kid and had no friends. Originally, he attended Seven Sisters High School, but was transferred to Kasugayama High after repeatedly causing serious injuries to people who bullied him because he used his Persona to defend himself. He rarely attended school anyway, retreating for the most part because he never forgot what happened to Maya. At some point he retrieved his mask from Mt. Iwato and swore revenge on his former friends. To that end, as well as to fulfill his dream of helping others achieve their dreams, Jun began spreading rumors of the Joker Game. The Joker Game was simple: If you called your own cell phone, a mysterious person named Joker would appear to grant your dream. However, if you couldn't make up your mind or he couldn't grant it, Joker would instead 'relieve your pain' by taking away your ability to dream, turning you into a Shadowman.
With the rumors of Joker spreading, Jun ran away from home to become Joker. Soon people were testing the rumor, and because it was a rumor, it was true. Jun was able to grant many dreams of many kinds - removing freckles, increasing intelligence, so on and so forth. Eventually, Lisa, Eikichi, and Tatsuya tested the rumor to see if rumors really were becoming reality. Joker had been waiting for this. He turned three of Eikichi's friends into Shadowmen and made his intent to have revenge known, but, much to his surprise, the three teens didn't remember the incident at the shrine or even knowing one another as children. He decided that killing them when they didn't remember was pointless. He sent demons after them, swearing he'd kill them himself once they remembered their sins.
After that, the party's efforts to find out why Joker wanted to kill them and get more information ended up spreading more rumors about Joker that changed who and what Jun was. By becoming Joker, he'd relinquished all control over himself to the city full of unwitting reality-warpers. Joker had to fit the rumors, so when they said he had a huge organization following him and an ulterior motive, he appropriated the name Masked Circle for his followers, recruited his generals (the Masked Four: Junko, Tatsuya Sudou, Ginji, and Anna), and planned to collect 'ideal energy' from those he turned into Shadowmen in four crystal skulls. He became more terroristic and power-hungry. The members of the Masked circle (those whose dreams he'd granted) had to follow his orders, no matter what they were. Because Tatsuya Sudou was the student who helped create the prophecy in the In'Lakech, Joker's goal and means included attempting to fulfill the prophecy. Shadow versions of Tatsuya, Lisa, and Eikichi were created from conflicting rumors, and Joker made use of their astrological affinities to wield the skulls, as the party took down his Masked Four.
Tatsuya, Lisa, and Eikichi remembered their shared childhood and discovered Maya was alive and had been with them all along. Joker appeared to them, and Maya revealed he was Jun. Philemon revealed that Jun was slowly 'becoming something inhuman', trapped by rumors as he was. The In'Lakech had been published by then, and rumors were turning it into reality, causing the Last Batallion (a secret Nazi force hidden in Antarctica with a secretly-still-alive Hitler, with highly advanced technology and mythical weaponry) to invade the city in search of Xibalba. Xibalba was, according to the conspiracy theory, a space ship left by the Maian aliens who helped humanity develop civilization, but overtaken by the Bolontiku (another tribe of aliens) in an interstellar war, as remembered in Mayan legend. There was a Mayan Ruin called Caracol where the crystal skulls had to be taken to make Xibalba rise, a catalyst for the destruction of the world while those aboard would evolve into 'Idealians', free from worrying about their purpose in life. Realizing that Caracol is where Joker would be, since he was also trying to raise Xibalba, they went to confront him there. On the way, they discovered the Masked circle had been ordered to fight the Last Batallion and defend the city.
It was within Caracol that Jun's false memories were revealed. It also became clear that Jun was starting to remember the truth, and that what he was doing wasn't what he wanted, but Nyarlathotep's brainwashing was interfering with his ability to break himself free and remember clearly. Time to save him was running out. In the depths of Caracol, Joker was waiting with Queen Aquarius (Junko), the crystal skulls, Shadow versions of Eikichi, Lisa, and Tatsuya, and Hitler. Joker raised Xibalba, taking all of Sumaru City (but not Caracol) with it. Jun began to break free of Joker's mindset a bit, which gave Hitler's Knights of the Holy Lance an opening to attack. Queen Aquarius threw herself in the way to protect him. Joker regained control, but failed to prevent Hitler from stealing one of the skulls and flying away with a jetpack. The three shadows scattered with the remaining skulls.
At that point, Jun and Joker started struggling within his own mind again. Joker blamed Tatsuya for killing his mother and Maya, and Jun was horrified at what he'd done, but couldn't stop himself anymore. Nyarlathotep's influence gave Joker an edge, encouraging him to kill. He fought Tatsuya and company, and when he lost, Joker gave himself over to his lust for power (though Jun no longer wanted to fight) and Nyarlathotep turned him into Angel Joker. They fought again. Afterward, Jun finally woke up as himself, feeling like he'd woken from a long and terrible nightmare. The reunion was interrupted when Nyarlathotep, in the form of Jun's father, tried to force Jun back to his side. When Jun refused, he stripped him of his Persona power and left him to die.
The entire group was transported to Philemon's dimension. Yukino, a Persona-user who'd been adventuring with Tatsuya and friends thus far, asked Philemon to give her Persona power to Jun, since she no longer needed it. He did this, upgraded everyone else's Personas to their ultimates, then transported the group up to the Alaya Shrine so they'd be able to stop Nyarlathotep. Jun revealed that if they collected the five crystal skulls and released the collected ideal energy, they'd be able to turn all the Shadowmen back to normal. The skulls were housed in four astrological shrines that had risen on Xibalba, with the fifth held by Hitler inside Xibalba's depths.
Next, they traveled through the four shrines (Aquarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Leo). For Jun, the most important one was Aquarius. Within the depths of the Aquarius Shrine, some of the Longinus Knights (same as the Knights of the Holy Lance) were waiting. They mocked Jun for being his father's puppet, and reminded him of his mother's role in the Masked Circle. After the fight, Jun's Persona (Hermes) mutated into its ultimate form, Chronos. In the Scorpio Shrine, they fought Shadow Eikichi. In the Taurus Shrine it was Shadow Lisa. In the Leo Shrine, they fought Shadow Tatsuya. Shadow Tatsuya struck Jun hard, as he suggested Tatsuya might hate Jun for his actions. Although Tatsuya said otherwise, Jun still feared it might be true.
Once they'd collected all four skulls, Maya received a call telling her Ms. Ideal (the teacher who'd worked on the In'Lakech with Jun's father) had been kidnapped by Prince Taurus (Ginji) to be used as a human sacrifice to complete the prophecy. The gateway to Xibalba was at Seven Sisters High School, so they went there to try and stop things before it was too late.
They used the Narurato stone in the school's courtyard to travel down to an underground river that took them to the gates of Xibalba. Inside, they fought their way through traps, and Jun struggled with conflicting memories of his fathers - both his real father, and Nyarlathotep's imitation. The last of the Longinus Knights reminded Jun of his mother, who he hadn't realized was dead. Maya realized that both the river leading to it and Xibalba changed to match what they expected from it. Eikichi's fears of his dad promptly manifested as a metal statue of him, which they fought, followed by the same happening with Jun's mother. Metal Mama's harsh words - telling him to disappear - caused Jun to briefly fade from reality. The others saved him, and the experience finally sorted out Jun's memories of which father was which. They found Ms. Ideal in a high-tech room, her kidnapper having been carbonized in a room several floors back. And then they fought a bunch of aliens. After the fight, Jun finally explained how his fathers were tangled up in his memories.
Finally, they reached the core of Xibalba. Hitler was waiting there, with the last of the skulls, which he claimed no longer meant anything - their cue to beat the crap out of him. After the fight, Hitler turned into Jun's 'father'. Nyarlathotep explained that they had reached the Collective Unconscious, where he was the Great Father of all humanity's wishes. He taunted Jun with the fact he had allowed Nyarlathotep to come into his life, as well as with his mother's death, crucifying and immolating both of his parents in front of Jun while laughing about how he'd destroyed his own family.
In response, the five kids fought Nyarlathotep. It was a long, difficult battle, but in the end they won. Philemon appeared, and together he and Nyarlathotep explained that all of this was a game they'd been playing with humanity on the line. This was going to be a happy ending to a very sad story, but Nyarlathotep had one final gambit: he summoned Ms. Ideal to run Maya through with the spear of Longinus. Magic couldn't be used to heal her and her death became the human sacrifice needed to complete the prophecy. The planets aligned into the Grand Cross, destroying the entire world save for Sumaru City, safe aboard Xibalba. Having won, Nyarlathotep vanished. Philemon offered the surviving kids an alternative: they could create a new world in which this tragedy would be averted by erasing the day on which they'd first met. They would sacrifice their memories of one another and their bonds, as well as their Personas, but Maya would live and so would the world. They accepted this deal and one by one traveled to the new world. Jun is taken from as he's fading out of the original reality.
Personality: On the surface, Jun is cold, kind, and polite. He doesn't allow himself to get close to other people, although he will go out of his way to help them, and he is never anything but controlled and absolutely inoffensive (unless given reason to be). He is good-hearted, but his false memories of the incident at the shrine, his mother's poor treatment of him, and ultimately Nyarlathotep's revealed brainwashing and using him as a puppet have left him with undeniable trust issues. He's scared of being hurt again, so it's easier to just push people away.
Some will note his high intelligence, as an excellent student and inventor. Others will notice he has a marked interest in flowers and astrology, which combined with his good looks (canonly described as 'more beautiful than most women' and 'as beautiful as a goddess') make him extremely effeminate by the standards of Japanese culture. He's accepted this and taken it in stride, though. He enjoys crossdressing, and will even use his beauty to manipulate others. He takes care of himself and can sometimes be a little bit vain. None of this will stop him from being vicious when the need arises - namely, if his friends (especially Tatsuya) are threatened.
Jun's trust issues are a big part of his character. Between his mother's neglect, his long history of being bullied, and the real and perceived betrayals of Nyarlathotep and Jun's friends, he rarely opens his heart to anyone. He's predisposed to assume people won't want him around or like him. This means Jun is intensely lonely most of the time - he acts normal, but he's almost always holding back tears. He's desperate to be loved, not just not hated, and always has been. That's why Nyarlathotep was able to use him so effectively, because he played the part of the loving parent Jun always wanted.
Even as Joker, Jun wanted to fulfill his dream and be loved. Of course he got more and more twisted and power-hungry as the stories about him changed, but his intentions were always good. He wanted to help others achieve their dreams ever since he was a child. As Joker, that meant instantly granting them, or, if that was impossible, removing the pain of an unattainable dream. Part of his motivation was his kindness, but it was also in part because as Joker, as 'an angel' who grants people's dreams, everyone would love him. They'd follow him and praise him and never speak ill of him. even his mother, who'd never shown him anything but hatred, cared for him after he granted her dream of eternal youth.
However, he also knows that just getting what he wants won't make him happy, a key difference between Jun and Joker. What Joker wanted was the love of everyone and revenge. Jun now knows that his childhood friends never betrayed him and in fact, once they remembered, fought desperately to save him from losing his humanity completely. What he craves now is the love of those important to him. In particular, he dreams of Tatsuya loving him, though he doesn't think himself worthy. He has a long-standing fixation on and love for Tatsuya that anchors him. It's one of the few good things in his life, so it keeps him strong. This bond is represented physically in his watch, which he treasures above all else.
Speaking of his friends, those who manage to get close to Jun will see a markedly different side of him. He's a lot more cheerful and open to his friends, more likely to smile. He can even be a bit playful, teasing them and having fun. He forms few ties, but they're strong ones. Jun is utterly loyal to his friends and will sing their praises - to the point of analyzing Tatsuya's astrological traits and only discussing the good ones. He's also viciously protective of them. The fastest and surest way to anger Jun is to insult or injure the people he cares about. He doesn't like fighting, but he can and will if he must. Not having them will be a great strain on him, since he's already been heartsick over Tatsuya and heartbroken for so long.
Jun is an interesting case in that he has high confidence but low self-worth. He knows what he's capable of, trusts in his ability to handle himself, and thinks well enough of himself that he can deviate from societal norms easily. At the same time, though, he condemns himself. He has deep guilt stemming from his actions as Joker. He blames himself for the destruction of his family, the hundreds of people Joker erased from reality, causing his friends such terrible pain in his misguided quest for revenge, the followers of Joker who died fighting the Last Batallion, his inability to protect Maya, and, ultimately, the destruction of his world. He knows he could never atone for all he's done, and apologies would only be flimsy at this point. He understands if people hate him. The punishment for his sins is his self-torment and guilt, which he will bear without complaint. This also makes him downplay his own troubles. It's partly his distrust for others, assuming no one will care about him, but also largely because he feels he should suffer for what he's done.
Jun obviously has issues with his parents. His mother was neglectful and only ever showed him hatred, his birth father was a deadbeat conspiracy theorist, and his other 'father' was an eldritch abomination that brainwashed and manipulated him for ten years. Anyone would have issues. It's clear that Jun's mother in particular had a profound effect on him. They're very similar in name, face, even astrological sign. In Xibalba, when the party's thoughts (in this case, Jun's fears) are becoming reality, one of the bossfights summoned by their thoughts is a metal statue of Jun's mother, whose harsh words cause him to briefly fade from reality. He wants her to care for him, despite knowing she never will, and if she says he should disappear, he's liable to agree. Considering his sexuality, it wouldn't be wildly inaccurate to say he has a bit of an Electra complex. His desire for her to love him, or even show him some positive attention, is most likely what led to him being constantly polite, controlled, and inoffensive. His birth father, on the other hand, has mostly only ever brought Jun shame. As a child he didn't want to admit the man was his father, and invented stories of a cooler man to tell his friends. Finally, Nyarlathotep's parentage of him left him horrified and sickened with himself, destroying any notion he had of being a good person. He hates the thought of being used as a puppet again - or worse, anyone else going through something similar. Of course he hates Nyarlathotep, but he can't fully separate the blame, so he, on some level, hates himself as well.
It should be noted that Jun has a habit of finding 'replacement goldfish' for important people in his life. the earliest case is as a child, when Maya became his surrogate mother. She cared for him in ways Junko should have, but didn't. The most glaringly obvious case is Nyarlathotep, as a replacement for his birth father, though this wasn't fully of Jun's own accord. However, he also had a replacement for each of his friends while he was Joker serving as his four generals. Junko succeeded her own replacement, Anna and Ginji replaced Lisa and Eikichi, and he even replaced Tatsuya Suou with Tatsuya Sudou. This ties in with another habit of his: he doesn't let go of things easily. The incident at Alaya Shrine tormented him for years, and not only because of Nyarlathotep's brainwashing. Because he has difficulty relying on anyone else, Jun bottles up everything and never lets it out or fully gets over it. It's part of why he's always holding back tears.
On a philosophical level, Jun has no idea who he is. It's a result of the confusion and chaos he's lived through since a young age: part of him never fully grew up after the fire. He never developed a dream for himself beyond helping others achieve their dreams, and a significant chunk of the identity he'd built for himself disappeared when his friends rescued him from himself. If he's left on his own, he becomes lost very quickly - it's part of why he clings to people so strongly. By chasing the dreams of everyone around him, he is effectively searching for his own. It's not something he does consciously, much like he doesn't fully realize he wants to be loved above all else. This is also one of his biggest weaknesses: if he loses the people he uses to anchor himself, and under extreme stress, he is very likely to slip into Joker's mindset again. That mindset, comprised of despair, chaos, anger, hatred, and willful ignorance, can be extremely destructive, as he will no longer care what becomes of anyone or anything apart from those closest to him. He will hate everything else. This is a remnant of Joker, however, and he's likely to be aware of it and trying to subdue it.
In summary, Jun is a deeply traumatized young man whose entire life has been made of abuse, torment, and a bit of brainwashing. He knows happiness and deeply feels his regret. He's heartbroken, knowing he'll likely never see Tatsuya again, has no home to go back to, shouldn't remember his friends, and that everything is his fault. He doesn't trust others, despite desperately hoping someone will care for him. Jun's issues run deep and he will likely never function completely as a normal person. He respects those who chase their own dreams and don't seek help or shortcuts, as that's the strength of humanity he's come to see after his experience as Joker. Helplessness isn't alien to him, but he helps others where he can. He'll endure his pain quietly and lead the rest of his existence trying to atone for his innocent sins.
Abilities: The links in this section are here to provide a list of what specific skills and weaknesses go with each Persona, for the sake of brevity and reference.
Jun is a Persona-user, which means he is capable of summoning a physical representation of his personality to fight for him. Because he's from Persona 2, this comes with a variety of side bonuses. First, the actual ability to summon his Persona - he can summon multiple Personas (though only one at a time), which each have their own magic and physical attacks and elemental strengths and weaknesses. His main Persona is Chronos, and the others he is likely to use are Fenrir, Ouroboros, Pallas Athena, Nanna, and Satan. He will have Chronos active most of the time. He has others available to him, but cannot use them as well as these. The entire party shares a stock of Personas, so other characters from Persona 1 or 2 can probably share theirs with him. It's unclear if he would be capable of sharing his Personas with characters from Persona 3 and 4, but it seems unlikely.
Jun's battle style tends to focus on range, as he is not very powerful physically. He has powerful magic and many of his spells affect entire groups of enemies. His strong affinity with the wind means a significant amount of his magic is wind-based. However, he can also summon fire, water, lightning, rock, ice, or nuclear energy to attack his enemies, depending on which skills he's using. His light and dark spells are attempts to one-hit kill his enemies. Some skills directly attack the opponent's mind or nerves, rather than the physical body - these act as status ailment attacks. He can also use a type of magic called 'almighty', which is powerful nonelemental magic, as opposed to the various nonelemental physical skills - which will be one of the following: blade-style slashes, ranged punctures like bullets or arrows, blunt strikes, flung objects (razors, flowers, coins, anything thrown), or 'havoc', which is a chaotic blend of physical attacks. Some attacks combine elements, such as his signature move Cross Fortune, which strikes all enemies once with wind magic before striking with light. Cross Fortune can also dole out status effects such as poison and charm.
Jun is also capable of using healing magic to revive and restore his allies.
His Personas also afford him, in a more general sense, several enhanced abilities. He's significantly stronger and faster than a boy of his size should be, and his defenses are better as well. More importantly, he has a kind of sixth sense - his Personas are capable of warning him when he's in danger, giving him a general sense of the area around him, and telling him a general list of supernatural powers of those he meets in person. His range for this is not large. Jun is also capable of using his Personas in conjunction with other Personas for more powerful group attacks called Fusion Spells.
As Joker, he has an entirely different set of abilities, which will most likely remain unavailable to him without good OOC cause, as Joker can be more than a little bit game-breaking.
Joker has an unnamed Persona of his own, with a range of powerful skills, primarily wind and almighty based, though some will be direct attacks to the enemy's mind or physical attacks. He also has a second form, known as Angel Joker, which mostly has light-based skills. Joker is also capable of teleporting anywhere he pleases (most often to where someone has summoned him by calling their own cellphone) and altering reality, such as to instantly grant someone's dream or erase them from reality altogether, including memory of their existence. Those whose dreams have been granted must follow his orders on pain of being erased as well, and will eventually be erased anyway. He has command over legions of demons and is capable of summoning and controlling them. Joker's costume is also wielded like a Persona, summoned and released at will rather than being put on like normal clothes.
As for things that are not specifically related to his powers, Jun is able to use simple flowers as a primary weapon - he throws them like darts. Kind of like Tuxedo Mask, except more effective. It's entirely unexplained how he does this. He is also extremely intelligent (especially in the realms of math and physics), and adept at astronomy and astrology. He is also a skilled liar, very capable of manipulating someone if he needs to.
Samples
Dialogue: [There's a notice tacked to the bulletin board. The handwriting is elegant, meticulously neat, and spaced nicely on the page. Neither overly fancy nor too bland to notice.]
I don't know how many of you believe in things like fortune-telling, but if anyone is curious (or, perhaps, in need of entertainment) I can offer astrological readings. I can try to work with tarot cards as well, if I find or make a deck, and offer some basic lessons.
This may be silly and out of place, under the circumstances, but if nothing else a little distraction might be nice. After all, I've never heard of a series of events that left no time for comedy - I don't mind making a fool of myself for a little bit of fun.
My name is Jun. I can be found in the courtyard, if you're interested.
Exposition/Introspection: It's late. Jun can't sleep. He'd gotten three, maybe four hours of sleep in earlier, before waking from his usual nightmares and utterly failing to coax himself back into slumber. He's been lying here for another half hour by now, and there's little point in pushing it further. Besides, he already knows: it will be nightmares again. It always is.
He pushes himself up, slipping out from the desks he'd used as a makeshift wall and stepping around other sleeping outsiders to the door. It's unlikely anyone will notice or care if he isn't here when morning comes and the room feels stifling right now. Too cold. Too closed in. The courtyard is little better, really, but at least there are flowers. Jun kneels close, peering through the darkness to try and identify them.
"Marigolds... I suppose red spider lilies would be too cliche." They're fitting enough, however. He's always found it a bit strange that so many bright yellow flowers have such negative meanings. Grief for a marigold, dying love and betrayal for yellow roses, revenge for a yellow iris. But then, all the meanings are arbitrary to begin with. There are quite a lot of silly, pointless things in Jun's life...
That's not a thought he wants to dwell on, however, so he searches for weeds among the flowers. The gardener is dedicated, so there probably are none, but he needs something to do or he'll dwell on his darker, more dangerous thoughts. He's not going to go back to what he once was. That would be like betraying Tatsuya and Maya and the others again, after all they did for him. After everything he put them through they still came to his rescue.
He'll never see them again.
He knows it. The thought sits like an ice-cold stone in his heart, it weighs on everything he does. It's nothing new - but sometimes he's distracted from it. This...isn't what they chose. He was supposed to disappear from memory and time, be replaced by another him who wouldn't really be him at all, himself as he should have been. And yet he's still here. He...has to at least try to live like those people so important to him would want him to, in their memory.
Jun sighs. The garden really is impeccably tended, there's nothing to do to keep the nightmares at bay. Maybe he should go to the cafeteria and try to scrub up the blood. He knows it'll be pointless, but at least it will be more restful than trying to sleep.
